Kate Taylor's Yoga Site - Latest Blog Entries

My BADASS Moment

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:38:00 -0600

Aloha from Hawaii. I am on the Big Island at yet another Teacher Training boot camp with Baron Baptiste. I came to be a part of his B.A.D.A.S.S. program - which was billed as a course on the mastery of teaching. What could be better than 8 days in Hawaii doing what I love and learning how to be even better at it?

What does it mean to be BADASS yoga teacher? My definition is pretty simple - a BADASS teacher leaves me feeling a palpable sense of joy when the class is over. Even if the class was physically intense, I feel light and energized. I feel inspired. I feel like the whole world is beautiful.

So..what's the secret? The answer is pretty simple - it's about teaching from love and passion and conviction. It's about sharing what I have found in my yoga practice with my students. It's about rising above the mundane and showing up every time ready to share the love.

In more practical terms it's about managing the energy in the room and taking the students on a journey into love. What I dig about the Baptiste system is that we have a sequence that forms a framework from which to teach. There are 11 series of poses in the sequence from which we can draw as we move the students through the practice. Each series affects the nervous system in a different way, moving us from the outer world to our inner world. The sequence dials you into that place where you can get out of your head and into your body. From there, a connection to our greater Self can happen.

The BADASS training consists of teaching to our peers and receiving live feedback about how our teaching is landing. Fellow teachers shout out to us as we teach part of the sequence: "Louder!" "Sounds scripted." "Stop pacing." "This is boring."

Based on this live feedback we are expected to change course and bring the class back to a happy place. The program leaders as well as our peers give us feedback afterward as well, coaching us on what was missing from our teaching. The feedback that hurts the most and goes right to the core of our being is usually the stuff we really need to hear. For me, the feedback that landed (and hurt) the most was that I sounded mean. There was a lot of background noise because there were three groups of us teaching in the same space. In an effort to increase the volume, I basically started yelling at my students. At least that's how it sounded to them. What this really gets at is a hardness in my teaching. I have been coached before that I can come across as a drill sergeant. And I know it's true. I can step back and see myself calling out poses one after the other, without also showing the love. This practice is intense and it does demand a lot of us, but there is a difference between pushing the students and making them feel small and pushing them and making them feel powerful. I guess that is the art of teaching and coaching, and that is one of my challenges.

The other feedback I have received pretty consistently since I started teaching this style of yoga is that my voice needs work. I tend to teach from my throat rather than my belly. When the volume goes up, the net result is a sound that attacks the nervous system and sets people on edge. I have talked about taking voice lessons for a few months and am now committed to finding a voice coach and really working on this.All of the teaching we do to our class of peers culminates in THE BIG MOMENT - when we put on a Madonna-style microphone and teach part of the series to the whole Bootcamp - while Baron coaches us.

Wednesday night I got my chance at being a BADASS. I was assigned the back-bending series. Great, I thought, this is a fun place to really manage the energy and inspire students. To me, back-bending is the culmination of the whole practice. It's the point at which we really have an opportunity to tap into who we are being and see our true colors. The irony is that on many days I dread this part of the practice. On those days I know I am just looking for my practice to make me feel "good" but I am not striving for GREAT. It's like a little mirror, showing me that I am not aspiring to anything bigger than what I have already. Showing me that I am complacent. As a teacher, its my job to pull my students out of that trap and reach for something bigger.

As I waited in the wings, mic'ed up and ready to go, I felt a surprising ease. I have been teaching this sequence for a year now, There was no additional preparation I could have done to get ready. I was, after all, looking for authentic feedback on who I am being right now as a teacher.

As I stepped on to the floor I took a deep breath in and looked at the sea of downward dogs in front of me. If the students were feeling what I was feeling, they were tired and lit up, all at the same time. Four days of asana and self-inquiry had left most of us pretty raw. I took them to high plank and started to hold them there for a count of five and immediately the groans started coming. Low plank for 5,4,3,2,1. High plank for 4,3,2,1. Low plank for 4,3,2,1. My inner drill sergeant was coming out. Argh. Baron started coaching me to speak to their higher selves - or something like that. A lot of what happened during the time I was teaching is a blur.

I remember releasing the students to their bellies and trying to soften the tone by asking the students open their eyes and look at each. Baron wanted none of that - "Don't let them rest - they'll get comfortable here! Take them right into the next pose." I moved the class through 2 Locust poses and then had them press back into Child's pose before setting up Camel. Oops. No forward bends between the back-bends, Baron coached me. He also started coaching me to take up the space with my voice, "Make it bigger, fill the room."

When I took them into their first Camel, I felt like I had finally showed up and was teaching from my center. I was able to set up the pose from the foundation and then speak to why we practice yoga - to open our hearts and FEEL. I think the room started responding by cheering, but I was in the groove and do not remember the details. I do remember that when we got to wheel pose, I was afraid I'd see half the class in bridge, exhausted and opting out. To my surprise, as I looked around there were only a handful of people in bridge. Over 90% of the class took their final Wheel and held it until they were released to their backs. Wow! And then it was over.

As I left the floor, Baron's final words to me were "I see Expanding for you. Expanding it. That's the next step."

The Doorway to Love

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:09:00 -0600

There are many minifestations of Love - puppy love, parental love, divine love, etc. All evoke a feeling that everything is right in the world. When we fall in love, everything is beautiful, everything is right in the world. It's like fireworks are bursting forth from our heart.

Over time we discover that Love is more like a pilot light - it's always there, always on - waiting to ignite the inner flame that recognizes beauty in the world.

Yoga...is union..union with everything - it is the ultimate incarnation and realization of love - divine love. And it is in all of us. We use our practice to ignite this love, tapping into our pilot light to stoke the fire of prana and feel the warm glow of love.

I would say my practice reminds me every day of love, of unity, of all that is beautiful in the world. Yoga is my doorway to love.

In the Labyrinth

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:51:00 -0600

I walked the labyrinth one morning in Mexico repeating the mantra "there is nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to fix" as I turned each corner moving toward the center. When I arrived I planted my feet and looked toward the horizon and saw the tiniest glimmer of the sun rising behind the clouds. As I stood there just observing, the orange glimmer grew bigger and bigger and I was hoping to see the full sunrise. Even in that moment I was trying to force things. Even though I could see there will still clouds and it was not ready to emerge completely. So I closed my eyes. I went inside.

I had an image of the two palm tress framing the spot where the sun had been - like they were burned into my eyelids - but there was no light where they had been. As I stood with my eyes closed I went back to my mantra - nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to fix. I then began to see a small green glimmer in the center of my forehead. The more I tried to make it bigger and stronger, the more it faded. When I was able to just be and not try, it would shine more brightly. hmmm...

I stood in the center for a while, meditating on the light and just being with it, or at least trying to be. I wanted to open my eyes and see the sun in full expression but could see that I was forcing it and that I would open them too soon. So I waited. When I finally felt a stillness I allowed myself to open my eyes. I saw the sun with one small fragment hidden by the clouds. And then the sun rose into full view and I started to cry. I realized that the light is always there and ready to be seen, sometimes it is just clouded over.

As I stood there I began intellectualizing my experience again. What did the green light mean? What did the orange and red mean? Which Chakra is green? It hit me that green is the heart chakra. I started crying again. The truth, I saw, comes from the heart. And I know this - even when it is just a glimmer, even when it is clouded over, that tiny bit of truth is still there.

As I exited the center of the labyrinth I began retracing my footsteps. Even then, I realizd I was forcing things, trying to step in the same footsteps I had left behind. Instead I decided to let my feet land where they would. To see my past footsteps but not need to be walking in them. It was hard, and I had to keep starting over, reminding myself just to be and not to try.

As I neared the exit of the labyrinth, a few people had come to do the walk themselves. I wanted to stay inside my self and avoid contact at first, but instead I looked into their eyes. When I looked into Marlese's eyes she said, "you look Beautiful."

Roll Down the Shades

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 11:58:00 -0600

What I found in my time in Mexico is that Baron Baptiste has synthesized the teachings from the lineage of yoga into a program that speaks to 21st century man (or woman). His teachings will shift your vision. Literally. The way you see things will change. The things you are unwilling or unable to see will come into view.

His truth is the truth of Patanjali and the truth taught by the Buddha. We are all caught in an illusion created by our thoughts. Our interpretation of the world around us is driven by the lower self. When we can see this, and bring an awareness to this, we can begin to see things as they truly are. We can begin to see that all we really know is no-thing. And that's OK. We just need to Be.

Sometimes we need to roll down the shades and stop looking outside and instead look at what's inside.

Is Baron "All That"?

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:27:00 -0500

I've been here in Tulum, Mexico studying with Baron Baptiste for about 12 days now and thought I might share some of what I've been doing. Last week I was attending the Level 1 Teacher Training Bootcamp. What?? More teacher training? Yes, I know, I have been to a few others already, but this time I came for different reasons. I came to see if Baron was "all that." I have been practicing his style of yoga for almost a year now, and needed to see if I was ready to get off the fence and dedicate myself to this method.

The answer is yes - Baron is "all that" and I have found my teacher. Last week, I realized that he has all of the qualities I am looking for in a teacher. He speaks from experience and inner knowing. He has a gift for sharing the wisdom of the ancients without getting bogged down in referring to scripture like the sutras. He knows the ancient teachings and lives by them (as well as any human can) and speaks from experience rather than telling us what other people say. This whole week has been an exercise in what Patanjali called Swadhyaya (Self Study), though he has never used those words. Our time on the mat is physically intense, but our time in self-inquiry and dialog is even more intense.

Baron is compassionate even when he is challenging people. And it feels authentic. Really. I have a great deal of respect for him and have decided to keep going on this path. This week I stayed for the GREAT program - which is an assisting program. I am learning some cool stuff and setting myself on the path and opening the possibility to assist Baron at future workshops. I plan to sign up for the Level 2 TT this year in May or August. I am excited about the possibilities for me in this. Studying with Baron, I think I can really break through and become the teacher and student of yoga that I want to be.

Life and Death and Yoga - Part 2

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 09:35:00 -0500

In my last blog post I ended by saying "It may sound morbid, but for me, the practice of yoga is about preparing for death. I practice yoga hoping to find peace of mind when I am faced with the loss of my loved ones as well as my own earthly life."

This week my practice was put to the test.

I have spent the last 9 days staring death in the face, watching as my grandmother made the transition from this life to the beyond. As a hospice volunteer, I have done this on many other occasions, but this time it was personal. It was my grandmother who was picking at the sheets and talking to people that I could not see.

When I arrived, my grandmother was in the hospital, hooked up to machines, and my mother was agitated and scared. Her mother had been a vibrant, independent woman for 88 years and my mother was not prepared for the inevitable. She said to me "I have no frame of reference for this. We have been a healthy family. I don't know what to do." I am writing this post so that maybe one person who reads it will be better prepared and will not suffer some of the mental anguish that my family has gone through. WARNING: If you are not ready to hear about what happens when a person makes a natural transition from life to death, you should stop reading now.

Volunteering at Hospice Savannah, I have learned what the signs of approaching death are and I have learned that while every death is unique, there is a pattern to what happens to a person as they near the end of their life. Understanding the process of dying has made this time for me much easier than it might otherwise have been. Note that what I will describe below is what I have read in many publications about the dying process, it is also based on my personal experience. Not everybody will go through this exact process, but I have seen it over and over again.

As a person nears the end of life, they turn from the external to the internal. They will stop eating and become detached from their surroundings. When this happened, my mother became very upset and sometimes combative, arguing with her about needing to eat, even though she had no appetite. She was also saddened that Grandma seemed to be giving up, and did not have her usual zeal for life. Grandma was not refusing to eat to be combative, her body just had no need or desire for the nutrition. Likewise, her focus was moving inward, rather than looking to the outside world. In Death, as in our Yoga practice, we look inward for peace.

After the initial withdrawal from food and surroundings, my grandmother became very weak and unable to get out of bed. Her movements became agitated and she would pick incessantly at her clothing and sheets. To me it seemed she was knitting, and sometimes as if she was petting her beloved cat, Mattie. I have no idea if she was aware of her hand movements, but I have seen this pattern in many patients at Hospice. She also began reciting names and numbers repeatedly. One day it was the numbers 6-3-2, another afternoon my mother came home asking my grandfather if he knew who Mary was, because she had been repeating her name over and over.

In a way it reminds me of the practice of Japa meditation with a Mala. Japa Meditation is the practice of saying a single sound or phrase over and over. This repetition provides a foundation that helps the mind to gradually disconnect with the external world. The use of a set of prayer beads, or Mala, provides a "physical" anchor as the practitioner proceeds to higher levels of the practice. As you become more and more disconnected from the external world through meditation, the Mala is meant to serve as your physical connection with this world.

I can recall times in my life when I was inadvertently using mantra meditation to calm myself down in dangerous or frightening situations. When I was 16 and fell off a cliff and dislocated my shoulder, I started reciting a nursery rhyme over and over while I waited for help. This is the one of the mind's natural responses in times of stress. The wonderful thing is that if we know this practice we can choose to do Japa Meditation, even if it is just to calm ourselves down during our daily stresses.

After a period of time without food and water, the body becomes very still, but the mind (and spirit) is still active. My grandmother did not move very much in the last few days I was with her, but even when she could not open her eyes, she would acknowledge my presence. I would talk to her about times we had together and she would sometimes verbally agree. They say the sense of hearing is the last to go, and that the person dying can hear and sense what is said in their surroundings up until the very end.

We got a phone call from the nurse at 3:30 am on Thursday, telling us that we needed to come to the nursing facility as soon as we could. When we arrived at her room a little before 4:00 am, she was resting peacefully but her hands had turned blue and her breathing was erratic. They call this Cheyne-Stokes breathing, and it is usually a good sign that the end is very near. When I spoke to her and touched her forehead her eyebrows seemed to move a little and I could tell she knew I was there, even though her eyes were open but she was clearly not seeing me. As we sat with her, the room became peaceful and her breathing slowed. At one point my grandfather touched her shoulder and asked if she was still breathing. She took one more breath and then let go.

We knew this was coming, so there was no surprise, no outburst of tears. We spent a few moments with her and then called the nurse.

The afternoon before she died I did my yoga practice outside on the patio at my parents' house. As I rolled out my mat I had hoped to do a strong 90 minute Baptiste style power yoga practice to work out some of the kinks and sluggishness from sitting in hospital rooms for days. As I rested in child's pose, trying to let go of my thoughts, I felt drawn to a more peaceful, meditative practice. Even though my ego and intellect was telling me I needed to move and breath vigorously, my spirit was feeling peaceful. I made my way through about 20 minutes of long slow postures and then rested into Savasana. Savasana translates to "Corpse pose" in English. As i lay there as a corpse I drifted into one of the most peaceful savasanas I have ever had. When I opened my eyes an unknown amount of time later, the blue sky was sparking as if there were fireflies all around me. At first I thought it was just the initial transition from dark to light, but the tiny lights persisted. It was as if I was seeing the energy in the air above me. I kept closing my eyes thinking that I would lose this view once I reopened them, but it remained. I thought to myself that I was actually witnessing the universal energy that pervades everything. I was seeing the unity in everything I was experiencing Yoga! Hmmmmm....

In conclusion. I think my practice is working. The last 9 days have been quite a journey, but they have not been filled with fear or sadness. At the end of her life, my Grandmother was surrounded by love and full of love. She was ready for whatever comes next and made a peaceful transition when the time came. I feel that peace now as I look out the window and see one her beloved cardinals sitting on the bird feeder.

Life and Death and Yoga

Thu, 21 May 2009 06:57:00 -0500

When my teacher and my teachers' teacher, Sri K Pattabhi Jois, left his earthly body earlier this week I had a hard time describing my feelings. Tradition says sadness and mourning are the course when someone dies, but I did not recognize that feeling when I heard the news. The best word I could use to describe my initial reaction is "peacefulness."

Guruji was 94 at the time of his passing. He was a lifelong practitioner of yoga and scholar of the sacred teachings of yoga. When I was studying at his school in India in 2007, he was no longer teaching on a daily basis, and I am not sure what his asana practice was at that stage of his life. He would, however, spend each afternoon in his office reading, studying, and taking visitors. Even after the age of 90 he was a student, teacher and practitioner of yoga.

We are taught in the yoga sutras that one of the five causes of suffering is "abhinivesa." This word is translated as "fear of death" in some translations, but I have also seen it translated as fear of "the loss of continuity." For me, this is one of the essential lessons of a yoga practice.

We become attached to things the way they are and want them to persist. It may be apparent in something as simple as attachment to where you place your mat during your yoga class - that feeling of being annoyed when someone takes your spot. At the other end of the spectrum we are attached to our life, our friends and our family and do not want to accept the natural progression that we will all die i.e. leave our physical bodies. This is one of the few things (if not the only thing!) that does not change.

Through my practice, I am learning to step back from that which I cannot control and let go and just be with "what is." I imagine Guruji had mastered this idea and was very comfortable with the knowledge that at the age of 94 he was near the end of this life. I also imagine that his family, who are all long time yogis, are also more accomplished at overcoming abhinivesa than most. For this reason, I think Guruji must have been at peace in his last days and last moments.

After a few days of digesting the news, I am left with feelings of gratitude. I feel so fortunate to have been able to learn from this great teacher, and be a small part of the lineage of teachers, bringing the teachings of yoga to my community.

It may sound morbid, but for me, the practice of yoga is about preparing for death. I practice yoga hoping to find peace of mind when I am faced with the loss of my loved ones as well as my own earthly life.

Total Exhaustion

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 06:03:00 -0600

The second weekend of my MBody teacher certification has been quite a challenge - and I'm only halfway through! I showed up early and took the 5:15 class on Friday night, hoping to get a little extra exposure to the Mbody teachers and teaching style. When Mark showed up at 6:30, instead of taking a couple of hours to talk as we had the week before, he launched us into a practice the I am sure was intended to push all of us to our ohysical and mental limits. We held many many poses to the point of physical exhaustion when muscles shake and lactic acid burns so hard you think your skin is going to ignite. I did feel peaceful after the class, having burned through a lot of ego and found a small space of equanimity.

Saturday, we started by taking the morning class at the Neptune Beach studio, which was also kicked my butt. Again, instead of taking some time to talk as a group, we broke into two groups and launched right into practice teaching. We are now teaching the whole awakening and integration series, so this meant another 2 hours of sun salutations. Just when I thought we would get some time to review and sit down Mark had us come together and teach as a group and this time he did the critiquing/coaching. When it was my turn, he spared no time in trying to coach me out of my head and into my heart. Ironically the more he coached the harder it got for me and I sensed the students were visibly uncomfortable on my behalf...which nade it even harder since my ego is apparently stronger than I'd like to think.

The afternoon practice from 4:00 - 5:15 was tough too. I was so out of my zone in the practice that I knew that I would need to modify and simplify the poses so that I could get through without hurting myself. Luckily we had a mellow evening, watching Yoga Unveiled as a group.

70% Human

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 21:47:00 -0600

My first weekend of teacher training at MBody is offically over but my brain is still spinning with information and experiences from the weekend. I feel completely energized and I am looking forward to incorporating what I am learning into my classes.

The program is very different than any other teacher training I have attended in that it is not focused on technical details but rather on how to teach in an authentic way.

Turns out authenticity is something that I am sorely lacking. On Saturday we started practice teaching, during which each student led their fellow students through a specific sequence. Our peers were then required to critique us on a number of points, including how "Real" we were in our teaching. While I got consistently positive feedback on my clarity in verbal cues and the "technical" details of my teaching, most of my peers let me know that I didn't seem real while I was teaching. I was consistently critiqued for being in "yoga teacher mode," verbalizing cues on auto-pilot without any feeling. Hmmmm....

Critcal feedback is something I rarely get from students and peers and even in my other teacher trainings, my mentors have been averse to providing any real criticism. During my final review on my prevoius 200 hr teacher training, the program director simply said I did great and was ready to go out and teach. Not so in this training...it looks like I will get real feedback from the whole group, including the director...which is why I signed up.

By Sunday afternoon we were on our third round of teaching and I had a small success...one of my peers told me that he thought I seemed about 70% human! Woo-hoo! I never thought I'd be happy to be told I seemed only 30% like an automaton, but I was genuinely pleased!

MBody Teacher Certification Program, Day 1

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 06:07:00 -0600

Last night I attended was my first session in the MBody 200 hour teacher certification program. We started out with introductions and discussion and ended with a vigorius practice, during which Mark pushed us to our limits.

The backbends were a challenge for me, as always, but the real butt-kicker was holding frog pose for what seemed like 10 minutes. (note that Frog <Bhekasana> refers to a different pose in different traditions - in Baptiste and Yin yoga you are face down with kneees out to the sides dropping your hips toward the floor). I don't ever practice this pose in my home practice and having only vague memories of doing it and fearing it when we learned it in my initial teacher training program at Asheville Yoga Center. This is a deep hip opener and accesses all kinds of fear in me....which is what this training is all about - facing my fears and pushing past my current limitations. Mark definitely took us there the first night.

Here is a video showing the pose (I think the sound is messed up in the video but you can see the pose if you are curious about what it is):

There are 12 of us in the program, ranging in age from twenty to forty-seven. It should be an interesting journey! More to come.....

New Yoga Co-Op at Ashram Savannah

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:45:00 -0600

There is an exciting new yoga venture starting in Savannah. Brent Martin, who has been running Ashram Savannah for about a year, has been talking with a group of teachers about turning the Ashram into a cooperative effort. The goal is to create a space where teachers and students create a community dedicated to the practice of yoga on and off the mat. Brent describes his concept of the co-op well on the Ashram Blog.

From the teachers' perspective, the co-op offers the teachers an opportunity to rent studio space at a reasonable price. As long as the teachers can bring in a minimum number of students, they should be able to cover their rent and take home proceeds from the class. Teaching members also get to attend all of the classes at the Ashram for free, and participate in the operation of the co-op in exchange for a say in the decision-making processes.

Student members will get access to some of the best teachers and yoga events in Savannah at reduced prices. The co-op is also planning to have "Open Studio" times when the doors to the studio are open to paying members to come and do their own practice. The idea is targeted at Ashtangis and others who have a strong personal practice but want to practice with their peers or just want a clean, quiet space (free from kids, cats, dogs, laptops, piles of laundry and all of the other things that might make a good excuse not to practice). This is like a Mysore practice but there is no formal "teacher" - though one of the Ashram teachers will be there to open the door and practice or just hang out.

Starting in January I will be teaching at the yoga co-op at the Ashram on Thursday nights from 5:30 - 6:45 pm.

For more information check out the Ashram website.

Learning Junkie

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:15:00 -0600

If you've been reading my blog, you've probably noticed that I am a bit of a yoga workshop junkie. As I was looking back on my posts this morning I realized that my last five blog entries have been about my experience in various training courses and workshops in the last few months. And the journey continues...I have just been accepted into Mark White's MBody Teacher Certification Program in Jacksonville, Florida. The Baptiste Power Vinyasa style of yoga (which is what Mark teaches) is a lot like Ashtanga, so the practice is somewhat familiar to my body, but challenging in new ways.

The TCP is a 200 hour certification program, similar to the training I completed at the Asheville Yoga center in 2006. Between now and May I will be heading down to Jax for nine three-day weekends to complete the program.

Why would I be interested in a second 200 hour certification???...Very simply, I am hoping that Mark's program will take my practice and teaching to the next level. My friend Mindy just completed the program (which was her second 200 hr cert as well) and she was blown away by the experience. From what I hear from the students, the program is unique in the way it strives to teach students to find their authentic self and express this through their teaching. Mark accepts a very small number of students into the program (there were 10 in Mindy's class) so I should also get a pretty intense learning experience, in contrast to programs with 25+ students. I'll keep posting as the journey unfolds...

Personal Revolution or Revelation?

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:20:00 -0600

This past weekend I attended Baron Baptiste's One Day Personal Revolution Workshop in Jacksonville, Florida. I have enjoyed the few Baptiste Power Yoga experiences I have had to date, but had never taken a class or workshop from Baron himself. I went to see what all the fuss is about and experience my own "personal revolution."

The day started with Baron introducing himself and then asking students to stand up and talk about why they were attending. The responses ranged from "I love you, Baron" gushings, to some really powerful stories about how Baron had changed people's lives. It was clear that Baron has a very powerful impact on many of his students. The rest of the day consisted of a strong 2.5 hour vinyasa-style morning practice, a post-lunch Q&A session and a slower, more focused (but still intense) afternoon practice.

So...did I experience my own personal revolution??? I would have to say that I did have a very powerful experience, though I am not sure I would call it a revolution...it was more like a revelation. What keeps coming back to me in the days since the workshop is how much mental resistance I have developed in my own yoga practice and teaching style. While I have spent the past year learning Ashtanga and developing a deeper personal practice and much more flexible body, I have built up a set of mental boundaries about what my body can do and how I think about teaching and practicing yoga.

During the morning practice Baron led us through a progressively more and more intense vinyasa sequence, which closely mirrored a lot of the poses I do in my personal Ashtanga practice. This makes sense, since most power yoga is drawn from the Ashtanga vinyasa tradition. The Baptiste style, though, adds a few things to the Ashtanga sequence that I never do in my own practice. When we got to these poses, which were difficult for me physically because my muscles have no memory of doing them over and over, I confronted a type of mental resistance that I had not seen in a while. "This pose hurts my back." This pose can't be good for my back" "I should come out of this pose to prevent injury" "You're just being a wimp" "Breathe through it" "What if I hurt my back and have to sit out the afternoon practice?" and on, and on. Ironically, one of the poses I was struggling with, Crescent Lunge, is exactly what my body needs to open my quads, hips and thoracic spine for the back-bending poses that challenge me the most in my daily practice. A year ago I had the same reaction to some poses in the Primary Series, but I have done them so many times now that I have learned how to find ease or "sukkha" in them.

As far as teaching style goes, I went to the workshop wondering if I might sign up for Baptiste style teacher training at some point on the future. Because of this I paid close attention to the sequencing, verbal cuing and assists. While I enjoyed the workshop, I found my self critiquing some of the things that are different from the teaching style I have developed over the past 2 years. I thought the assists were too frequent and sometimes I felt like I was on the assist assembly-line. On the other hand, the comments from the students during the afternoon discussion were that the assists were great. I also bristled a little at the Tony Robbins-style life coach approach to teaching Yoga. When I reflect on that reaction, though, I realize that my reaction is a result of the personal dogma I have created about how yoga should be taught. The truth is that a lot of people respond well to motivational speaking, including myself, when I open myself up to it. I am still not sure whether or not I will sign up for Baptiste style teacher training, but I do have a much better sense of the practice and philosophy. Over the next several weeks I will chew on my experience a little and see where it leads me.

So...what were my revelations? (1) while attempting to become more flexible by practicing very consistently, I have have become more inflexible in terms of my thoughts and (re)actions (2) I need to loosen up and be more flexible with my personal practice and my teaching.

Practice Like a Zen Calligrapher

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 06:23:00 -0500

Musings from day 3 of the David Swenson Worshop....

David has all these great sayings and stories that he shares when he teaches. On the first day he told us that we should strive to do our practice like a zen calligrapher who uses the minimal amount of ink to convey the most beauty and harmony. A similar analogy he used was to practice yoga like a cat - i.e. using the least amount of energy required for any action.

This is really important in Ashtanga if you want to end up with more energy at the end of the practice than when you started. Which reminds me of another story he told us about David Williams - he says that David W. talks about increasing "his bars" - referring to cell phone bars. His goal in yoga is to increase the prana or life force in his body - at the end of practice, we should strive to have more "bars" than when we started. For those who practice yoga, hopefully you know of this strange phenomenon of leaving a very challenging asana class and feeling as if you could climb a mountain. The reasons for this are varied, but a lot of it has to do with the breath and its effects on the parasympathetic nervous system. I have found that if I stay focused on my breath throughout my practice. I am bringing more energy/prana in than I am putting out, even if the practice is strong. On days when I am scattered and just muscle through the practice without a good breath, I am drained and tired.

When I was in India, I kept waking up at 3 or 4 am each day even though I did not need to be at the shala until 6:00 am. At the time I was confused by how little sleep my body seemed to need when I was putting it through much more physical rigor than it was used to. Now I am pretty sure that the extra prana in my body was responsible for the unexplained energy and mental alertness I felt throughout my trip. Coincidentally, I have been waking up at about 4:00 am every day I have been in Florida, even though our workshop does not begin until 8:45 am. Hmmm....

To Teach or Not to Teach?

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:55:00 -0500

I am in Winter Park Florida right now for a week-long workshop with David Swenson. Technically it is a "teacher training" workshop, but I am primarily here (or at least I keep saying I am primarily here) to deepen my personal practice. Whether I feel ready at the end of the week to try and begin adding some classes called "Ashtanga XYZ" to my teaching schedule remains to be seen.

I have been spending a fair amount of time debating this question of whether to teach classes called "Ashtanga". In this tradition, the" authorization" to teach is formally handed down from a member of the Jois family (Pattabhi Jois or his son Sharath). Since I am realtively new to this tradition, I am a long way off from being authorized by Guruji or Sharath. In fact, there is a strong possiblity that it would never happen! Several more trips to India would be required, not to mention some serious progress in my back bends.

On the other hand, I have been practicing yoga for about 10 years and teaching other types of yoga for more than 2 years. Part of me feels drawn to teach this practice that I love...and in the process help get more people in Savannah introduced to its beauty, simplicity and complexity. On a good day I think of this as a desire to grow a community of happy, well-balanced practioners. On a bad day I see this as just another ego trip in which I want people to want to love what I love. So....while a part of me tells me that it would be wrong to begin teaching formal group classes of a practice to which I am so "new," I know this practice better than any other yoga since I have practiced the same poses in the primary series sequence hundreds (and maybe thousands) of times.

David spent some time during the first day talking about what it takes to be a good teacher. In his opinion, certification can mean nothing - there are people who have a certification but are not ready to teach. On the other hand, as he pointed out, even Guruji and Mr. Iyengar have never been "certified" according to AYRI standards. Interesting note - we will not get a "certification to teach" from this class, but we will get a "certificate of completion" from his teacher training program.

At this point, my opinion is that a good teacher should have practiced the poses in the sequence enough times to be able to speak from a depth of personal experience. They should also be able to teach the sequence without having to do the poses with the students, so that they can observe and adjust and count the breath and do all of the things that are necessary in this complex practice. They also need to have enough wisdom to guide the students in the many, many questions that come up as students begin to peel back the layers of their egos and discover the lessons that reveal themselves through the the symbiotic emotions of accomplishment and humility. The dilemna is how to learn to do this without years of practice as a teacher!

For now I will keep teaching my "power yoga" and "dynamic flow" classes. I love these classes because they allow me to explore and grow my skills as a teacher without the responsibility (and baggage) of teaching the Ashtanga tradition. Plus it can be fun to lead a class with music!

Andrea Boyd Assist Workshop

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 07:58:00 -0500

Yesterday I had the opportunity to take a workshop on "assists" with Andrea Boyd, from Jivamukti in Charleston. I'll write more later on this but for now, here are some photos from the workshop which show some of what she taught us. Unfortunately my camera battery died before we got to some of the great asissts for the warrior poses and side angle pose! I'm excited about incorporating some the new ones I learned into my classes.

David Keil in Philadelphia

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:11:00 -0500

I still haven't taken the time to write anything up about our amazing visit to Yogaville, DC, or the Qigong conference, but hope to get to that soon. For now, though a few words about an amazing teacher.

While we were at the Qigong conference and trying to decide where to visit next, I revisited a listing for an Ashtanga workshop at Yoga Squared in Philadelphia, which was starting the day after we were scheduled to leave Maryland. When I had read about David Keil's workshop months earlier I had decided that taking 5 days out of our trip to stay in Philly was not a good idea. I was torn, though, because is an expert in anatomy and a certified Ashtanga teacher, so I knew I might be missing out on a chance to get some really detailed instruction on some of the poses that are the most challenging for me. Lucky for me, Brad thought it was a good idea and we decided to make an extended detour through the city of brotherly love.

The "workshop" was really five days of Mysore practice - which is basically what I had done in India - you show up at your allotted time and do your practice and the teacher adjusts/helps as needed. The difference between this experience and India was that I got to ask lots of questions and have a dialog with David about my struggle in some of the poses. In India, practice, self-observation, and a few adjustments from the teacher in your terminal pose are the mode of learning. While I learned a lot from that method, and my practice would not be the same without having that experience, I have been struggling of late with finding ease in some of the poses. And doing them 100's of times had not yet revealed the "secrets" of these poses to me.

While I can't say David revealed any "secrets," he did take the time to identify and explain the limitations in my hips and shoulders and show me how to work on opening them up in each of the poses so that the most challenging poses for me (like backbends) might one day come more easily. I also bought and watched his amazing Yoganatomy DVD. While I knew some of the information from my teacher training, it was a great refresher and went into more depth on some issues than I had learned before. I highly recommend it if you are interested in understanding how the human musculo-skeletal system works in relation to your yoga practice.

I can't say enoough good things about David as a teacher - he is extremely knowledgable, patient, good humored, and he knows how to push you to your limits and when to back off. He will be coming to Savannah in March and I am looking forward to learning even more from this gifted teacher.

Global Mala Yoga for Peace Planning

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:05:00 -0500

I haven’t been writing for a few days in part because of laziness but also because I have been spending my “computing time” each day working on something else really exciting. I am now coordinating the Savannah Area Teachers of Yoga Association (SATYA) and I am on the committee for this year’s Global Mala Yoga for Peace Event. In past years we have worked to raise awareness about peace by bringing folks together to practice a series of 108 sun salutations in Forsyth Park. This year we are planning an event that will include 108 minutes of yoga (not all sun salutations), as well as some chanting (kirtan). As part of this year’s event we are also making an effort to engage in Yoga Seva (selfless service) and are raising money for one local and one global charity.cambodian children's fund

We have selected Park Place Outreach in Savannah and the Cambodian Children’s Fund as the beneficiaries of our fund-raising efforts.

We are planning the event for Sunday, September 21^st in Johnson Square in downtown Savannah. We will begin the event with some led chanting. Following that, Mark White, owner of M Body Yoga in Jacksonville, will lead us in 108 minutes of invigorating Baptiste Power Yoga on the square. For more information or to register for the event, check out the SATYA website. If you would like to make a donation to either of the charities through SATYA, you can also do so through the SATYA website.

in the next day or so I'll gather my thoughts on our visit to Yogaville and the Qigong conference and get a new post up. In the meantime, new pics are being posted to the photos tab regularly.

Road Trip 2008 Underway

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 12:18:00 -0500

We finally kicked off our road trip on Monday afternoon, beginning what we hope will be several weeks of exploration from Savannah to North Dakota. We have two known destinations – Reiserstown, Maryland for a Qigong conference and then on to Towner, North Dakota, where we need to pick our pups up from “doggie summer camp.” I need to be back in Savannah by August 27^th so I can catch a plane out to Redlands for Labor Day weekend, but other than that, we don’t have many constraints.

Since we ended up leaving 4 days later than planned, we decided to bee-line it up to the Durham/Chapel Hill area the first day. About 150 miles into the trip, we heard a thunk and the car lost all its get-up-and-go. After experimenting with the acceleration a bit, Brad decided that the Turbo on our beloved Volvo had given out. Our trusty iPhone allowed me to Google for Volvo dealers in the area and we figured out there was one in Chapel Hill. Bingo. We crossed our fingers and kept on driving, arriving in time for dinner, but having missed my first planned yoga class at Ride the Breath.

We had a great meal at The Lantern in downtown Chapel Hill, and then headed over to our “Hotwired” hotel room for some sleep. We decided that getting the car fixed was our first priority so I decided to do my practice in our hotel room and then head up to the dealer by 8:00 am. We drove up the highway a few times looking for the dealer and kept wondering why we couldn’t find it. Then I noticed what looked like a lot “formerly known as” the Crown Volvo dealership – and indeed it was – the dealership had closed less than a month earlier.

We ended up driving over to Cary and dropped the car off at the dealer there and walked over to a place the service manager recommended for breakfast. After about an hour the car was fixed (under warranty!) and we were back on the road, with Turbo. Next destination: Satchidananda Ashram in Buckingham, VA, a.k.a. Yogaville.

Yoga Retreat at the Hostel in the Forest

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 07:48:00 -0500

Got back last night from the yoga retreat I led at the Hostel in the Forest. This amazing place consists of hand-built tree houses and dome structures on ~120 acres of forest near the town of Brunswick on the Georgia coast.
After dinner and a campfire talk on Friday night, we started the day on Saturday with a yoga practice in the big glass house. This is probably the most beautiful space in which I have ever practiced yoga. It's a ~600 square foot hexagonal structure, with sliding glass doors all the way around. Practicing in the glass house is like practicing on the forest floor (but with a roof over your head and screens to keep away (most of) the critters).

I taught a vinyasa (flow) yoga class to a group of about 17 the first morning. The playlist for the music can be found here. (I am excited that I just figured out how to post my playlists to iTunes and publish them on my site - more to come soon!)

After class, Tom, the hostel owner, invited us back to see his private tree house. He planted a living roof on top of his house about three years ago and has a one-of-a-kind fern covered roof. He also showed us his state-of-the-art composting toilet. The toilets at the hostel are incredible - they are all of the composting sort, and the hostel may be the longest running composting toilet operation in the world. Photos of his living roof, outhouse and the rest of the weekend are on my photos page.

The afternoon was spent doing some karma yoga - giving back to the hostel by working on a number of projects. Part of the group helped Murray restack and protect the wood for a new dome structure that will be built later in the fall. Another group worked with Peaches to clean up the hostel's nature trails, clearing overgrown brush and removing fallen trees. Another group worked with Molly to clear and sweep out the labyrinth, which we planned to use later in the evening.

A fourth group helped Carlyn weed her beautiful vegetable garden. I signed up for that group, thinking it would be a a meditative exercise in pulling a few weeds from the vegetable beds. In the forest, though, and especially in a 100% organic garden, weeds get BIG! The five us on that crew pulled out a few gigantic piles of grass and other miscellaneous invasive plants and only made a tiny dent in the work. Without the help of any motorized tools, the work is incredibly intense, but satisfying. Kudos to Carlyn for her patience and hard work, which brings food to the guests of the hostel on a daily basis.

After the work was done, a dip in the lake was in order. Did I mention that it was about 95 degrees and sweltering? The hostel swimming hole is crystal clear and was the perfect temperature to cool off without getting a chill. There is a platform in the middle where swimmers (in various levels of dress) lay in the sun and hang out.

After my swim and a refreshing shower, a few of us worked together to fill up paper bags with sand and candles for a candle-lit walk in the labyrinth. By the time we had finished we had placed about 500 candles along the borders of the path through the labyrinth. After dinner, another crew headed over to the labyrinth to light the candles. About 15 minutes into the lighting, the sound of thunder began to reverberate through the trees. Luckily the rain held off long enough for some of us to get a short walk in, but before long it was pouring rain.
I decided that I should take this as a lesson in non-attachment instead of getting upset that we had worked for hours and only had 15 minutes to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Brad and I were lucky enough to be staying in the tree house overlooking the labyrinth, so we hunkered down and watched the candles flicker in the rain before we fell into a deep sleep. In the morning, believe it or not, there was one candle still flickering.

I led a slower paced, more meditative yoga class on Sunday morning. We finished up with a sitting meditation, which Becca Sweeney led us through. Becca started out by describing why she sees meditation and asana (poses) as "twins." History tells us that the poses we do in yoga were developed in ancient times as a way to train the body for long periods of sitting. Likewise, the breath and movement in an asana class, prepare the mind for the stillness required for meditation. So...meditation originally led to the development of asana and asana made meditation easier. This reminds us that the real reason for the asana practice if to prepare us for meditation.

The weekend was exactly what I was hoping for and I am talking to Murray about planning another retreat for the fall. When we get the details worked out I'll post some info on my site.

Finally, I'd like to send special kudos to the hostel staff - thanks to Murray and Poppy for helping to organize the retreat and take care of all of the reservations and logistics; thanks to Southwood, Peaches, Fresh Ginger and the other kitchen angels for the delicious meals; thanks to Carlyn for the wonderful produce that went into the meals, and thanks to Molly for leading the way in our labyrinth cleanup. A special thanks to Tom for sharing his retreat in the forest with the rest of us. The folks who live and work at the hostel keep this beautiful place going so that people like me can come get away from our 21st century lives and reconnect with what is really important.