Aloha from Hawaii. I am on the Big Island at yet another Teacher Training boot camp with Baron Baptiste. I came to be a part of his B.A.D.A.S.S. program - which was billed as a course on the mastery of teaching. What could be better than 8 days in Hawaii doing what I love and learning how to be even better at it?

What does it mean to be BADASS yoga teacher? My definition is pretty simple - a BADASS teacher leaves me feeling a palpable sense of joy when the class is over. Even if the class was physically intense, I feel light and energized. I feel inspired. I feel like the whole world is beautiful.

So..what's the secret? The answer is pretty simple - it's about teaching from love and passion and conviction. It's about sharing what I have found in my yoga practice with my students. It's about rising above the mundane and showing up every time ready to share the love.

In more practical terms it's about managing the energy in the room and taking the students on a journey into love. What I dig about the Baptiste system is that we have a sequence that forms a framework from which to teach. There are 11 series of poses in the sequence from which we can draw as we move the students through the practice. Each series affects the nervous system in a different way, moving us from the outer world to our inner world. The sequence dials you into that place where you can get out of your head and into your body. From there, a connection to our greater Self can happen.

The BADASS training consists of teaching to our peers and receiving live feedback about how our teaching is landing. Fellow teachers shout out to us as we teach part of the sequence: "Louder!" "Sounds scripted." "Stop pacing." "This is boring."

Based on this live feedback we are expected to change course and bring the class back to a happy place. The program leaders as well as our peers give us feedback afterward as well, coaching us on what was missing from our teaching. The feedback that hurts the most and goes right to the core of our being is usually the stuff we really need to hear. For me, the feedback that landed (and hurt) the most was that I sounded mean. There was a lot of background noise because there were three groups of us teaching in the same space. In an effort to increase the volume, I basically started yelling at my students. At least that's how it sounded to them. What this really gets at is a hardness in my teaching. I have been coached before that I can come across as a drill sergeant. And I know it's true. I can step back and see myself calling out poses one after the other, without also showing the love. This practice is intense and it does demand a lot of us, but there is a difference between pushing the students and making them feel small and pushing them and making them feel powerful. I guess that is the art of teaching and coaching, and that is one of my challenges.

The other feedback I have received pretty consistently since I started teaching this style of yoga is that my voice needs work. I tend to teach from my throat rather than my belly. When the volume goes up, the net result is a sound that attacks the nervous system and sets people on edge. I have talked about taking voice lessons for a few months and am now committed to finding a voice coach and really working on this.All of the teaching we do to our class of peers culminates in THE BIG MOMENT - when we put on a Madonna-style microphone and teach part of the series to the whole Bootcamp - while Baron coaches us.

Wednesday night I got my chance at being a BADASS. I was assigned the back-bending series. Great, I thought, this is a fun place to really manage the energy and inspire students. To me, back-bending is the culmination of the whole practice. It's the point at which we really have an opportunity to tap into who we are being and see our true colors. The irony is that on many days I dread this part of the practice. On those days I know I am just looking for my practice to make me feel "good" but I am not striving for GREAT. It's like a little mirror, showing me that I am not aspiring to anything bigger than what I have already. Showing me that I am complacent. As a teacher, its my job to pull my students out of that trap and reach for something bigger.

As I waited in the wings, mic'ed up and ready to go, I felt a surprising ease. I have been teaching this sequence for a year now, There was no additional preparation I could have done to get ready. I was, after all, looking for authentic feedback on who I am being right now as a teacher.

As I stepped on to the floor I took a deep breath in and looked at the sea of downward dogs in front of me. If the students were feeling what I was feeling, they were tired and lit up, all at the same time. Four days of asana and self-inquiry had left most of us pretty raw. I took them to high plank and started to hold them there for a count of five and immediately the groans started coming. Low plank for 5,4,3,2,1. High plank for 4,3,2,1. Low plank for 4,3,2,1. My inner drill sergeant was coming out. Argh. Baron started coaching me to speak to their higher selves - or something like that. A lot of what happened during the time I was teaching is a blur.

I remember releasing the students to their bellies and trying to soften the tone by asking the students open their eyes and look at each. Baron wanted none of that - "Don't let them rest - they'll get comfortable here! Take them right into the next pose." I moved the class through 2 Locust poses and then had them press back into Child's pose before setting up Camel. Oops. No forward bends between the back-bends, Baron coached me. He also started coaching me to take up the space with my voice, "Make it bigger, fill the room."

When I took them into their first Camel, I felt like I had finally showed up and was teaching from my center. I was able to set up the pose from the foundation and then speak to why we practice yoga - to open our hearts and FEEL. I think the room started responding by cheering, but I was in the groove and do not remember the details. I do remember that when we got to wheel pose, I was afraid I'd see half the class in bridge, exhausted and opting out. To my surprise, as I looked around there were only a handful of people in bridge. Over 90% of the class took their final Wheel and held it until they were released to their backs. Wow! And then it was over.

As I left the floor, Baron's final words to me were "I see Expanding for you. Expanding it. That's the next step."