Kate Taylor's Yoga Site

I walked the labyrinth one morning in Mexico repeating the mantra "there is nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to fix" as I turned each corner moving toward the center. When I arrived I planted my feet and looked toward the horizon and saw the tiniest glimmer of the sun rising behind the clouds. As I stood there just observing, the orange glimmer grew bigger and bigger and I was hoping to see the full sunrise. Even in that moment I was trying to force things. Even though I could see there will still clouds and it was not ready to emerge completely. So I closed my eyes. I went inside.

I had an image of the two palm tress framing the spot where the sun had been - like they were burned into my eyelids - but there was no light where they had been. As I stood with my eyes closed I went back to my mantra - nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to fix. I then began to see a small green glimmer in the center of my forehead. The more I tried to make it bigger and stronger, the more it faded. When I was able to just be and not try, it would shine more brightly. hmmm...

I stood in the center for a while, meditating on the light and just being with it, or at least trying to be. I wanted to open my eyes and see the sun in full expression but could see that I was forcing it and that I would open them too soon. So I waited. When I finally felt a stillness I allowed myself to open my eyes. I saw the sun with one small fragment hidden by the clouds. And then the sun rose into full view and I started to cry. I realized that the light is always there and ready to be seen, sometimes it is just clouded over.

As I stood there I began intellectualizing my experience again. What did the green light mean? What did the orange and red mean? Which Chakra is green? It hit me that green is the heart chakra. I started crying again. The truth, I saw, comes from the heart. And I know this - even when it is just a glimmer, even when it is clouded over, that tiny bit of truth is still there.

As I exited the center of the labyrinth I began retracing my footsteps. Even then, I realizd I was forcing things, trying to step in the same footsteps I had left behind. Instead I decided to let my feet land where they would. To see my past footsteps but not need to be walking in them. It was hard, and I had to keep starting over, reminding myself just to be and not to try.

As I neared the exit of the labyrinth, a few people had come to do the walk themselves. I wanted to stay inside my self and avoid contact at first, but instead I looked into their eyes. When I looked into Marlese's eyes she said, "you look Beautiful."